Category: Thoughts

Universal Messages & Divine Timing

I love when messages make their way to you when needed.

Our trees have been suffering from Emerald Ash Borer Beetles and last year we had to remove 3 of 5 because they beetles had done too much damage. My husband and I have been putting off getting Emerald Ash Borer tree injections, not knowing if they would help. It has been almost a year since we had an estimate done, so long ago that I couldn’t even remember the name of the people who came to look at them last year. Timing is a magical thing. Last weekend, maybe a day after I mentioned I needed to call some people, the company we had out last year sent an email with our previous estimate checking to see if we still needed work done. So, we had them come out today and look. Our first appointment in the morning was delayed due to a “technical error” or by human mistake, not sure which. So, they showed up this afternoon. We go out there, we are talking about whether it is worth doing, if it is worth trying to save our remaining two trees. As if to answer our question, a sharp-shinned hawk flies from a neighbors tree low into the yard and up into our tree. It hangs out there for a about a minute while we talk and then goes on its way. Just long enough to let me know this meeting was important.

This is not the first time I have been in contemplation and a bird out of the ordinary shows up as if to answer my question. It has actually happened more times than I can count and this time not only confirmed that we should try to save our trees but also reminds me of the first time this happened, or at least the first time I could remember.

I was sitting outside, wondering what it is I was supposed to do with my life. I was at a point where I was contemplating my life’s work with animals. I was conflicted about whether I was supposed to continue my work with animals on a deeper level or not. In that moment, a juvenile red-tailed hawk lands on the telephone pole in our neighbors yard. I think, oh ok, that is interesting. I go in and grab my camera and while taking a few pictures, a juvenile sharp-shinned hawk flies right by this red-tail. I couldn’t help but laugh. It was like the universe was saying, “Well, you haven’t been listening so here are TWO messages in one.” Did I go on to follow that path with animals? Yes and no, at least not to the extent to which I was called to.

In the beginning of my contemplation on this path, true contemplation, I had a dream where a sharp-shinned hawk (turns out this species of bird is significant to me and I hadn’t realized it until today) was tangled in some sort of line and was hanging upside-down over a porch. I pulled it down, untangled it, and in my hands it turned into a Fairy. It said very clearly, “You gave up on the animals you once wanted to save.” Then it flew off.

I continue to be called to this animal path and was reminded today that I am good at what I do with animals and in this life I want to live a life with passion, love in my heart, and with purpose. I am reminded often that there is more I am meant to be doing.

So, this post started with me just wanting to share a bit about messages and divine timing, and ended up turning into a self-chat about life and purpose. Turns out I ended up writing this more for myself than anyone else. Funny how that happens.

I guess we will see where this goes and if my pages and posts evolve into something other than what they were, that is just me finally answering the call I have been putting on hold for far too long.

Any of this sound familiar? Life is too short for a tired soul and it is what one does with the gift of life that determines who they are (One quote by me, one by a piece of my childhood. Both are very good advice.) It is far past time to start living the life you are meant to.

Serr.Kai • A Quill & Ink

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I Want to Grow Old With You

Inspired by my husband and also by one of my Dragon Companions, I bring you this image of a young woman with her young dragon companion side by side with their older selves.

As we go through life, the turbulence of day to day survival can often lead to less time spent with those we love and sometimes to withdrawal from everything entirely. Our absence becomes felt, whether we notice it or not. We may forget that there are those who need you, who love you, who miss you. When our priorities become obscured, what and who is really important gets moved below things that aren’t so much. Things like your health and your wellness become less of a focus. Home and family become distant. The things you want for your future may become out of reach.

Sometimes isolation can be helpful as a refresh. It can give us time to think and resolve. But isolation can also lead to a life unwell if too much time is spent there. It may damage our personal health and the health of our relationships. In order for us to grow old together, we must take care of ourselves, we must be healthy as a whole. Mind, Body, Soul. We must find balance.

Today, remember those that are in your circle, your tribe. Remember that they need you to take care of you, because they want to grow old together, too.

-Serr.Kai • AQuill&Ink

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View The Future or Change The Past?

It’s amazing how one question can change your entire world.

I was asked, today, if you could travel to the future or to the past, which would you choose?

I find the present time to be scary enough, though, I do often wonder if the future gets any better.

Because of this, I chose the past.

I do know that time travel is a tricky subject. If you travel back, you could easily alter the entire course of your life, or even history, even with the smallest change.

It still made me think. If I could travel anywhere, the only place I’d want to travel is back to my childhood. I would want to change the course of my own career, my own health, my own future.

There are a lot of things I wish I’d done, or things I wish I’d done differently. I’d take life more seriously, experience it fully, and follow the dreams that I once had.

I feel as though I’m the person that I am today because of my experiences. I don’t know that I’d want to change that person, at least not too much. I just wish, somehow, that I could share this current wisdom with my past self.

Perhaps that is the goal (or should be) when we grow into this person and then have kids of our own. To share our wisdom and experiences with the next generation. This is something I lacked during my childhood. If I ever end up with children of my own, I can add this to my What Kind of Parent Do I Want to Be list.

As for who I am now and who I want to become. The best that I can do is take these lessons and apply them to the (hopefully) many years I have left.

As I always say, life is too short for a tired soul.

Which would you choose, view the future or change the past?

-Author K.Orion

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Self-Love this Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day I am writing to you about Self-Love.

One of the biggest things that people aren’t talking about, in regards to Covid-19, is the hair loss.

It has been a little over 3 months since the beginning of my Covid journey. It was about a month in that the hair loss began.

With Covid came a lot of health challenges I wasn’t prepared for. Not just challenges because of Covid, but challenges I didn’t know existed until Covid. With these challenges have come a lot of soul searching, contemplation, and seeking. It has also brought stress and a heavy heart.

We knew about possible heart issues, possible breathing issues, and issues with the body. However, hair loss was not anticipated. As someone who has always had thick and healthy hair, this has hit a little harder than expected.

Now, the shower looks like a horror scene and my clothes are constantly covered in hair. If I don’t keep my hair in a hair tie, hair ends up everywhere but by keeping it in a hair tie it pulls more and more hair from the source.

It has now been two and a half months since the hair loss has started and I have lost over half of my total amount of hair. It is thin, my scalp is becoming bare, and it continues to fall out.

Covid has been unpredictable. It affects many different parts of the body and thankfully it seems that a lot of the issues tend to be temporary, usually only lasting a few months.

I pray to the Gods and all those listening that the issues I am currently facing, health-wise, are temporary. I have had to come to the realization as of late that this is my new and current reality.

Stress is incredibly hard on the body, it can literally make you ill. I realize that the more I stress about my health and current situation, the worse it gets, and to allow my body the time it needs to heal I need to greatly reduce the stress in my life, allow myself the time it will take to return to normal or to a healthy state, but mostly I need to love myself.

Physically, it is hard to see my body experiencing all that it is going through. Emotionally, I have been ripped and torn in every which direction. If I allow it to continue, my body not only has to work to heal itself, it also has to fight through my emotional state and stress to do so.

This means that I have to make a choice. I can be upset about my current situation or I can love myself no matter what I look like, no matter how I feel, no matter what I go through.

Self-love and self-care is an incredibly powerful tool, one that everyone should utilize. When acknowledgment and acceptance of a situation has taken place, the road to healing can begin.

To begin my own healing process a transformation must occur. Like a caterpillar that goes through an immense transformation to become its final and most beautiful form, I too must begin this transformation journey. It includes a lot of acceptance and the will to love myself.

I am sharing my story, not to receive pity or attention, rather to express the importance of self-love. No matter what you are going through, the situations you find yourself in, how you look or how you feel, remember that self-love can help you move mountains. It can help you to heal mentally, physically, emotionally. It can help you to move forward and to become more mindful about yourself and the world around you.

This Valentine’s Day, as you love those closest to you and show them how much you care for them, remember to do the same for yourself.

Loving yourself is a medication all on its own.

-Author K.Orion

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Fuck Anxiety

Anxiety can cause whiplash. You can sit and have a real and logical conversation. Everything seems to make sense and feel good. As you get closer and reality sets in, anxiety sneaks up and makes your head spin up issues and scenarios that don’t exist, flipping your stomach upside down. With a strong enough mindset you can push out those thoughts, settle your stomach, and release the anxiety. Only then, to possibly face disappointment because you went round and round about the decision you were trying to make and took too long to make it so the opportunity was no longer available.

Moral of the story… when anxiety comes into your life, show it the door immediately and tell it to fuck right off.

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A New Sense of Appreciation

It’s the little things we take for granted.

A warm shower, a hot meal, a beautiful sunset.

Our own health, the health of others in our care, a loving embrace.

The deep breath of fresh air, the smell of flowers, the taste of our favorite foods.

Time.

These are all things I’ve come to take for granted and forgot that these are the things most to be appreciated in life. My inability to experience all of these things over the past few weeks has reawakened a sense of appreciation.

We always think there will be enough time, that we can always do something at another time. Time is precious, the little things are priceless, and anything can happen at any time to take both of those away from us.

Hug that special person a little longer, take your time with your next meal so that you can really savor the taste, pause for a moment and breathe in that fresh air, set time aside for self-care.

Life is beautiful, appreciate it.

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Have You Found Your Pizza?

The question can be a simple one or one that really makes you think. I’ve come to realize that my answer to this question is, no.

I’ve recently gone through, and am still going through, the unfortunate experience of Covid-19. I have come away with two realizations. One is that I am not as healthy as I really wish I were. Two is that I am 31, almost 32, and haven’t really done anything with my life.

I have had these thoughts a lot in life, though with my latest experience with Covid, I have realized more than any time before that life truly is too fucking short and I have yet to do anything with the life that I have been given.

So, with this new found appreciation for life, I am choosing to live each and every day moving forward.

But what does living life really mean? I know what it doesn’t mean. I know it doesn’t mean working a job you don’t like just to feed yourself and your family. It doesn’t mean working every day of your life and spending more time at work than with family. It doesn’t mean having a tired soul.

What are you doing with your life? Are you doing work you enjoy? Are you spending time with those you love? Are you doing things that enrich your life? Is your soul happy or are you just here?

Think about it, do you go about your day on auto-pilot or are you mindful of the moment? Are you actively listening to the person speaking to you or are you just going through the motions?

I’m not sure about you, but I am tired, my soul is tired, and I want to experience life not just move through it.

Covid isn’t the first time I have faced the prospect of death. One morning a few years back I was driving to work on the same highway that I had travelled many times before. In a split second, the roof of a box truck came loose and hit me head on. If I had been going any slower, it would have gone under my tires and run me off the road. If I had been going and faster, it would have gone through my windshield. It was a life flashing before my eyes kind of moment, yet, I never made changes to live any differently.

Something I always wanted from A Quill & Ink was a place where I could share my thoughts and adventures. What I truly want from it is to be a Life Blog, a place where I can share things that interest me, places I’ve been, things I’ve learned, etc. I hope to share the WOWs of the world with the world. Why do Bearded Vultures only eat bones? Why mysteries lie in the Bermuda Triangle? Where in the world has the best pizza?

My husband is my best friend and the one person that I really and truly want to share the world with. Over this past year he has found pure joy in creating pizza. With the pandemic, we have learned how to make a lot of different foods, foods we otherwise would have ordered for delivery or would have enjoyed at a restaurant. Pizza is one of our favorite foods and after a night of drinking and a morning of hang overs, he decided to make dough for the first time. From then on, we have had homemade pizza nearly every weekend. We have experimented with different sauces, toppings, herbs. It has become a truly wonderful culinary experience, but making pizza has become more than just something to consume to him. To him, making pizza has become an art and a hobby that he truly enjoys.

I have always felt a sense of lone wandering within the world, a hole where passion should reside. He tells me, one day, “I need to find my pizza”. This really hit me in a way that opened my eyes. What is my passion? What do I truly enjoy? What am I doing with my life?

So this has become my mission, to find my pizza. What I feel is missing is actually living life. I want to see the world, experience culture and food, to explore the oceans and the caves, to learn about the world around us. This is where I am going to start my pizza finding journey.

After a life of existing, I am ready to live.

Hopefully this blog post has found you in a time when you need it most. I hope it doesn’t take facing a life changing event or meeting the face of death to awaken your desire to live. I hope this article helps to awaken that for you. Are you ready to live? Have you found your pizza?

-K.Orion

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Step Out of Your Head

I am a writer, an artist that uses words to create something beautiful. I have always wanted to pick up a pencil or paint brush to create art, my fingers have never been good with coordinating with my brain. I’ve had a project I’ve needed to do, to put up these shelves we’ve had for at least two years. So I’ve decided to add a little more color to them and I started today. After I painted the shelf (in pic two and three) I used up the remaining paint on a small canvas. Life gets busy and complicated at times and sometimes we need reminders to help us stay on track. So, I painted this Quill to remind me to keep writing and I love how it turned out. Moral of the story is…. the reason I don’t get artistic and I don’t write in my collection of journals is because there is a fear of ruining something and having it turn out horrible. This I believe comes from the need for acceptance. We as humans tend to need practice to get good at something. That usually means lots of poorly made projects, oopses, and wasted material. But that doesn’t mean you should stop. Even if you aren’t good at something, if you enjoy it, do it anyway. It will make your heart and soul happy, I know it did mine!

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